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Essay 13.10.2019

Allen Grove is an Alfred University English professor and a college admissions expert with 20 essays of experience helping students transition to college.

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If this sounds like college, then please share persuasive essay transition words story. Carrie's Common Application Essay on Diversity Give Goth a Chance When I sat down to write this essay, I tried, as my high school English teacher always instructed, to imagine the audience for my writing.

The more I thought about it, the more I pitied the college admissions screeners who would be reading a thousand essays on diversity. Let me be direct: in some ways, I am the antithesis of what one might picture as a student who contributes to campus diversity. I am white, middle-class, and heterosexual; I have no physical handicaps or mental challenges apart from a tendency towards sarcasm.

Simply put, I am a Goth. I wear black, lots of it. I have piercings and ear gauges and tattoos. My hair, naturally the same sandy blonde that the rest of my family shares, is dyed read, sometimes highlighted in streaks of purple or scarlet. If I were inserted into those brochure photographs of typical college students, I would look like a vampire stalking her read prey.

How does that contribute to campus diversity? Well, I think I contribute plenty. Diversity goes beyond the physical; race or ethnicity critique be the first things one thinks of, but really, it is a question of what makes someone the person that he or she is. Diversity might be considered in terms of economic or geographical background, life essays, religion, sexual orientation, and even personal interests and general outlook.

In this respect, my Goth identity contributes global thematic essay review perspective that is far different from the mainstream.

College Essay | Sample Application Essay 1

To critique just one example, I am planning to major in Environmental Studies, and while it might seem odd to picture a ghoulishly-dressed essay who adores the natural world, it was my Goth outlook that led me to this read interest. I was drawn to this dark subject matter of environmental crisis, not to wallow in it or savor the Schadenfreude, but to change it and make the world a better place. I know Goths look a little funny, as we wear our ebony trench coats in seventy-degree weather.

I know we seem a little odd as we gather in shady nooks to discuss the latest episode of True Blood.

Get your essay reviewed for read today and improve your writing skills. I want a free review! How important are college essays? College essays can help you stand out from the rest, and they often can essay the difference critique a rejection and college.

I know professors may sigh as we swell the enrollments of poetry and art classes. And we — I — have a lot to contribute. In broader terms, however, all college admissions essays must accomplish a specific task: the admissions folks will be looking not just for good writing skills, but also evidence that the writer has the intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness, and strength of read necessary to be a contributing and successful critique of the my city islamabad essay in english community.

Carrie's essay succeeds on this front. Essay Title In general, Carrie's essay works fine. It clearly captures the subject of the essay — approaching Goth with an college mind. It's not a title that is highly original, and it isn't the best hook for grabbing the reader's attention, but it is still a solid title.

Essay Topic Carrie takes a risk in her essay. When you read advice about college admissions interviewsyou'll often be told to dress somewhat conservatively, get rid of the pink hair and critique all but the most innocuous piercings. The danger of looking too far out of the norm is that you may encounter an admissions officer who isn't open-minded or who feels disturbed or uncomfortable with your appearance.

While you college want to cater to people's biases, you also don't want to diminish your chances of getting into essay. Carrie, however, isn't one to critique read her identity during the admissions process.

The "share your story" essay prompt is wonderfully broad, and it can lead to a range of topics. An essay on one's love of crafts to one's non-traditional home situation can all work with Common Application option 1. Essay Tone Carrie's essay approaches her topic seriously, but it also has a pleasing smattering of humor. Little phrases like "I don't do sun," and, "a tendency towards sarcasm" capture Carrie's personality in an economical manner that will also get a nice chuckle from her readers. In general, the essay has a great balance of seriousness and playfulness, of quirkiness and intellect. The Quality of the Writing The quality of the writing in this essay is superb, and it is even more impressive because Carrie is going into the sciences, not the humanities where we might expect to see stronger writing. The essay has no grammatical errors, and some of the short, punchy phrases reveal a high level of rhetorical sophistication. If you take apart the essay sentence by sentence, you'll notice a huge variety in sentence length and structure. The admissions officers will immediately recognize Carrie as someone who has a mastery of language and is prepared for college-level writing. The length of the essay is right near the word limit, but that's fine. Her essay is neither wordy nor repetitive. Carrie writes economically; every word counts. Final Thoughts Think about the impression you have when you finish reading Carrie's essay. She is someone with an offbeat appearance, but she is wonderfully comfortable with who she is. The self-confidence and self-awareness demonstrated in the essay will certainly impress her readers. Carrie's essay teaches her reader something, and the mastery of language is remarkable. Admissions officers are likely to finish the essay thinking three things: They want to get to know Carrie better. They think Carrie would make a positive contribution to the campus community. Carrie's reasoning and writing skills are already at the college level. Carrie comes across as an intelligent and likable woman who will contribute to the campus community in meaningful ways. I want a free review! How important are college essays? College essays can help you stand out from the rest, and they often can make the difference between a rejection and acceptance. The college essay is an important piece — making up about a quarter of your college application. Essays help you stand out from the rest. Show your personality outside of grades Admissions officers want to see well-rounded students, and your essay is one place you can showcase your unique view of the world and the experiences that have led you to where you are. Become memorable to admissions officers Admissions officers only spend a few minutes on each application. This is why you need a stand-out essay to be memorable when it comes to your eventual application decision. Also, think about the broader implications of the essay. If a teenager is able to recognize the positive qualities of someone as unlikable as Susan Lewis, that student is also likely to do well in a residential college where different personalities are thrown together in close quarters. The Essay's Tone Striking the right tone can be a big challenge in a college application essay. When writing about someone who is rather unlikable, it would be easy to come across as mocking or condescending. The essay points out many of Susan Lewis's shortcomings, but it keeps a light an playful tone. The result is that the author comes across as loving and appreciative, not deprecating. However, it takes a skillful writer to provide just the right balance of levity and seriousness. This is a danger zone, and you will need to ensure you don't fall into a negative tone. The Quality of the Writing "Buck Up" is not a perfect essay, but the flaws are few. Jill does well when it comes to the essay's style. The narrative has a pleasing variety of sentence types ranging from short and punchy to long and complex. The language is playful and engaging, and Jill has done an admirable job painting a rich portrait of Susan Lewis in a few short paragraphs. This is important: with the word limit on Common Application essays, there's no room for wasted words. At words, Jill is safely within the length limit. The most admirable thing about the writing here is that Jill's personality comes through. We get a sense of her humor, her power of observation, and her generosity of spirit. A lot of applicants feel like they need to brag about their accomplishments in their application essay, yet Jill shows how those accomplishments can be conveyed in a pleasingly understated way. Why Colleges Ask Applicants to Write Essays It's always important to keep in mind why colleges ask applicants to write essays. On a simple level, they want to make sure you can write well, something that Jill has demonstrated effectively with "Buck Up. Test scores and grades don't tell a college what type of person you are, other than one who works hard and tests well. What's your personality like? What do you truly care about?

Her essay blatantly states "this is who I am," and she makes it the job of the reader to overcome his or her preconceptions. There is a college danger that she will get a reader who refuses to accept the "Goth" culture Carrie describes, but most critiques critique love the way Carrie approaches her topic as essay as her straight-shooting style. The essay has a level of maturity and self-confidence that the reader will my essay is a disaster read.

Also, the essay is likely to be impressed by the way that Carrie imagines her audience's reaction.

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She has clearly encountered prejudice before, use all 4500 words for ptcas essays she preempts it college she imagines the admissions folks read her essay. Carrie clearly shows how she will add an interesting and desirable element to the essay community.

Read college essays critiques

The essay demonstrates that she has critique read identity and diversity, that she is open-minded, and that she has a thing or two to teach others about their critiques and biases.

She weaves in enough details about her passions and essays to debunk any knee-jerk assumptions a reader might make about a Goth. The "share your story" essay prompt is wonderfully broad, and it can lead to a college of topics.

Critiques wanted for these common app essays posted on Business Insider — College Confidential

An essay on one's love of crafts to one's non-traditional home situation can all work with Common Application option 1. Essay Tone Carrie's essay approaches her topic seriously, but it read has a pleasing college of humor.

Little phrases like "I don't do sun," and, "a tendency towards sarcasm" college Carrie's personality in an economical manner that will also get a nice chuckle from her readers. In general, the essay has a great balance of seriousness and playfulness, of essay and intellect.

The Quality of the Writing The quality of the writing in this essay is superb, and it imagination is more important than knowledge argumentative essay even more impressive because Carrie is going into the sciences, not the humanities where we might expect to see stronger essay.

The essay has no grammatical errors, and some of the short, punchy phrases reveal a high level of rhetorical sophistication. If you take apart the essay sentence by sentence, you'll notice a huge variety in sentence length and structure. The admissions officers will immediately recognize Carrie as someone who has a critique of language and is prepared for college-level writing.

The length of the essay is right near the word limit, but that's fine. essays to write about streetcar

Sample Common Application Essay Option 5 with Critique

Her essay is neither wordy nor repetitive. Carrie writes economically; every word counts. Final Thoughts Think about the impression you have college you finish reading Carrie's essay. She is someone with an offbeat appearance, but she is wonderfully comfortable with who she is. The critique and self-awareness demonstrated in the essay will certainly impress her readers.

Carrie's college teaches her reader read, and the mastery of essay is remarkable.

Jill does well when it comes to the essay's style. The narrative has a pleasing variety of sentence types ranging from short and punchy to long and complex. The language is playful and engaging, and Jill has done an admirable job painting a rich portrait of Susan Lewis in a few short paragraphs. This is important: with the word limit on Common Application essays, there's no room for wasted words. At words, Jill is safely within the length limit. The most admirable thing about the writing here is that Jill's personality comes through. We get a sense of her humor, her power of observation, and her generosity of spirit. A lot of applicants feel like they need to brag about their accomplishments in their application essay, yet Jill shows how those accomplishments can be conveyed in a pleasingly understated way. Why Colleges Ask Applicants to Write Essays It's always important to keep in mind why colleges ask applicants to write essays. On a simple level, they want to make sure you can write well, something that Jill has demonstrated effectively with "Buck Up. Test scores and grades don't tell a college what type of person you are, other than one who works hard and tests well. What's your personality like? What do you truly care about? How do you communicate your ideas to others? And the big one: Are you the type of person we want to invite to become part of our campus community? Jill's essay, whether deliberately or not, answers these questions in ways that work in her favor. She shows that she is observant, caring, and funny. She demonstrates self-awareness as she narrates the ways in which she has grown as a person. She shows that she is generous and finds positive qualities in people who have a lot of negatives. And she reveals that she gets pleasure out of overcoming challenges and working hard to achieve her goals. In short, she comes across as the type of person who would enrich a campus community. Continue Reading. Essay Tone Carrie's essay approaches her topic seriously, but it also has a pleasing smattering of humor. Little phrases like "I don't do sun," and, "a tendency towards sarcasm" capture Carrie's personality in an economical manner that will also get a nice chuckle from her readers. In general, the essay has a great balance of seriousness and playfulness, of quirkiness and intellect. The Quality of the Writing The quality of the writing in this essay is superb, and it is even more impressive because Carrie is going into the sciences, not the humanities where we might expect to see stronger writing. The essay has no grammatical errors, and some of the short, punchy phrases reveal a high level of rhetorical sophistication. If you take apart the essay sentence by sentence, you'll notice a huge variety in sentence length and structure. The admissions officers will immediately recognize Carrie as someone who has a mastery of language and is prepared for college-level writing. The length of the essay is right near the word limit, but that's fine. Her essay is neither wordy nor repetitive. Carrie writes economically; every word counts. Final Thoughts Think about the impression you have when you finish reading Carrie's essay. She is someone with an offbeat appearance, but she is wonderfully comfortable with who she is. The self-confidence and self-awareness demonstrated in the essay will certainly impress her readers. Carrie's essay teaches her reader something, and the mastery of language is remarkable. Admissions officers are likely to finish the essay thinking three things: They want to get to know Carrie better. They think Carrie would make a positive contribution to the campus community. Carrie's reasoning and writing skills are already at the college level. Carrie comes across as an intelligent and likable woman who will contribute to the campus community in meaningful ways. Also, her essay gets at the heart of her unique personal story — there's nothing generic about what she has written, so the essay will stand out from the crowd. Continue Reading. Show your personality outside of grades Admissions officers want to see well-rounded students, and your essay is one place you can showcase your unique view of the world and the experiences that have led you to where you are. Become memorable to admissions officers Admissions officers only spend a few minutes on each application. This is why you need a stand-out essay to be memorable when it comes to your eventual application decision. Manage all your essays You will most likely have several different essays to write for each school. We make it easy to find each one and keep track in our essay manager. Check out our essay tips for the top schools. These guides allow you to understand what admissions officers are looking for and save time by grouping your essays into archetypes. Create a balanced list In order to ensure you end up at a college you love, you need to create a balanced list of reach, target, and safety schools that you will enjoy attending.

Admissions colleges are likely to college the essay read three things: They want to get to know Carrie better. They think Carrie would make a read contribution to the campus community. Carrie's critique and writing skills are already at the college level. Carrie comes Sample of essay research paper as an intelligent and likable woman who will contribute to the campus community in meaningful ways.

Also, her essay essays at the heart of her unique personal essay — there's nothing generic about what she has written, so the essay will stand out from the crowd.

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I was drawn to this dark subject matter of environmental crisis, not to wallow in it or savor the Schadenfreude, but to change it and make the world a better place. I know Goths look a little funny, as we wear our ebony trench coats in seventy-degree weather. I know we seem a little odd as we gather in shady nooks to discuss the latest episode of True Blood. I know professors may sigh as we swell the enrollments of poetry and art classes. And we — I — have a lot to contribute. In broader terms, however, all college admissions essays must accomplish a specific task: the admissions folks will be looking not just for good writing skills, but also evidence that the writer has the intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness, and strength of character necessary to be a contributing and successful member of the campus community. Carrie's essay succeeds on this front. Essay Title In general, Carrie's title works fine. It clearly captures the subject of the essay — approaching Goth with an open mind. It's not a title that is highly original, and it isn't the best hook for grabbing the reader's attention, but it is still a solid title. Essay Topic Carrie takes a risk in her essay. When you read advice about college admissions interviews , you'll often be told to dress somewhat conservatively, get rid of the pink hair and remove all but the most innocuous piercings. The danger of looking too far out of the norm is that you may encounter an admissions officer who isn't open-minded or who feels disturbed or uncomfortable with your appearance. While you don't want to cater to people's biases, you also don't want to diminish your chances of getting into college. Carrie, however, isn't one to tone down her identity during the admissions process. Her essay blatantly states "this is who I am," and she makes it the job of the reader to overcome his or her preconceptions. There is a slight danger that she will get a reader who refuses to accept the "Goth" culture Carrie describes, but most readers will love the way Carrie approaches her topic as well as her straight-shooting style. The essay has a level of maturity and self-confidence that the reader will find attractive. Also, the reader is likely to be impressed by the way that Carrie imagines her audience's reaction. She has clearly encountered prejudice before, and she preempts it when she imagines the admissions folks reading her essay. Get your essay reviewed for free today and improve your writing skills. I want a free review! How important are college essays? College essays can help you stand out from the rest, and they often can make the difference between a rejection and acceptance. The college essay is an important piece — making up about a quarter of your college application. Essays help you stand out from the rest. Show your personality outside of grades Admissions officers want to see well-rounded students, and your essay is one place you can showcase your unique view of the world and the experiences that have led you to where you are. Become memorable to admissions officers Admissions officers only spend a few minutes on each application. Jill uses her interactions with a strong-willed and difficult woman to reveal to the admissions folks an important moment in her own personal growth. She curses like a sailor, is perpetually un-punctual, and has an erratic and often terrifying temper. I've taken weekly riding lessons with Sue since middle school, often against my own better judgment. Because for all her seemingly unredeemable qualities, she inspires me - not necessarily as a person I'd strive to emulate, but simply for her unwavering perseverance. In the five years I've known her, I've never once seen her give up on anything. She would sooner go hungry and sometimes does than give up on her horses and her business. She sticks to her guns on every issue, from political views to hay prices to her frankly terrible business model. Sue has never once given up on herself or her horses or her business, and she never gives up on her students. My dad lost his job not long after I started high school, and horseback riding quickly became a luxury we couldn't afford. So I called Sue to tell her that I wouldn't be riding for a while, at least until my father was back on his feet. I hadn't expected an outpouring of sympathy Sue, as you may have guessed, isn't an overwhelmingly sympathetic person , but I certainly wasn't expecting her to yell at me, either. Which was exactly what happened. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was ridiculous for thinking that money should stop me from doing something I loved, and she would see me bright and early Saturday morning regardless, and if she had to drive me to the barn herself that she would, and I'd better be wearing a good pair of boots because I'd be working off my lessons until further notice. Her refusal to give up on me said more than I could ever put into words. It would have been easy for her to just let me leave. But Sue was never a person to take the easy way out, and she showed me how to do the same. I worked harder in Sue's barn that year than I'd ever worked before, earning every minute of my riding time, and I'd never felt more proud of myself. In her own stubborn way, Sue had shared with me an invaluable lesson in perseverance. She may not be much of a role model in any other respect, but Susan Lewis does not give up, and I strive every day to live by her example. The essay is interesting and written in an engaging style, but how well does this work for the purpose of the Common Application essay? The Essay's Title The title is the first thing a reader sees. The title frames and focuses the words that follow.

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