Another factor which complicates this problem is when the parents, for whatever reason work obligations, lack of appropriate social or personal values and priorities leave their young children alone at home. Without the parents supervision, there is nothing to stop the aggressively of ones against the others, and events can quickly escalate to levels that can provoke resentments that can last a lifetime. As a general rule, children younger than twelve should not be left alone.
An additional factor that greatly complicates this problem is the occurrence of family traumas or tragedies the death of one or both of the parents, or their divorce or separation , which leave only one or none of the parents in charge of raising their children. These family traumas may occur because of war, sickness, accidents, and other natural or social disasters. In such cases the parents simply do not have the opportunity to teach their children about how to avoid the problems of sibling rivalry or to teach them many other bits and pieces of information which are useful and necessary for day-to-day life and so then, when these children grow up and in turn form their own families, they dont have the necessary knowledge to avoid the development of this rivalry among THEIR children.
It may take several generations to overcome the effects of ONE of these family tragedies. In contrast, the most important factors for the development of good sibling relationships and for the mental health of children in general are the parents knowledge of basic parenting skills, their desire to apply these knowledge and skills, and that they have the time and opportunity to apply them with their children.
It is when the parents knowledge, skills, desire or opportunity are lacking that birth spacing, sibling gender, temperament, and other potentially negative factors become increasingly important. These principles or premises are relatively self-evident truths about the human mind that can be useful in deciding which actions may nurture childrens mental health. Some of these principles are the following 1. The most complex structure in the known universe is each human mind.
Modern science, even with all its spectacular recent advances, is only just beginning to understand this intricate structure. This should give an idea of the reverence and awe with which parents and educators should look at EACH child. The human mental structure is primarily a product of the constantly changing environment in which it is evolving. The most important parts of this environment are its informational and emotional aspects.
This does not mean that the genetic, biological and physical aspects of the environment are not important. It is just that these last are usually not under the parents control. On the other hand, the parents generally can have considerable influence on the informational and emotional aspects of the childs environment.
This principle has at least two corollaries a All the environments in which all children have developed have at least some similarities, so all human mental structures will also have some similarities which means that even the most different people will have at least some points in common and b No two environments are exactly alike, so no two human mental structures will be exactly alike and vice-versa, even the most identical people will have some differences.
As noted previously, each successive child in the family has less access to his or her parents exclusive one-on-one time. Also, he or she will be influenced by the presence of his or her previous siblings, at their respective stages of mental and physical development. Additionally, the parental influence each successive child receives will reflect the fact that the PARENTS also evolve and change with time. All of these factors contribute to differences in the mental structures of siblings - therefore, it cannot be expected that siblings will have very similar mental structures only because they were raised within the same family environment.
The human mental structure is self-organizing. This is a biological, neurological, and psychological fact. On the one hand, the development of the underlying structures of the mind that allow concepts to be acquired follows a well-defined sequence, with later developmental stages allowing the acquisition of concepts of different kind and generally increasing complexity and abstraction.
And then, the development of the mental structure itself is sequential and arbores cent The concepts that are acquired first determine its subsequent development by allowing or not the further acquisition of related concepts. And, environmental factors can accelerate, or delay, or obstruct the development of the underlying structures of the mind and of the conceptual structure itself. Also, as is well known, human children will imitate social behaviours they observe in others around them.
If these behaviours are incorporated at an early enough stage, they will easily be taken as natural by the child as he or she grows up. And then, it is easy to fall into the fallacy that if I feel this is a natural behaviour, and I observe it in others, then it IS the only possible natural behaviour for this type of social situation An obvious counterexample question is this Are there ANY human beings that exhibit different behaviour patterns in this type of social situations?
If there are, then this means that, NO, this is NOT the only possible natural behaviour pattern, it is only ONE of several or many possible behaviour patterns for any certain type of social situation This indicates the importance of the factors present in the early environments, because any later organization will necessarily proceed from these.
After a certain short initial period, the most important factor in the environment of any particular individual is that very same individual, which is to say, his or her mental structure.
That is, the factors present in the childs early environment are more important than the factors of later environments. This indicates the great importance of the emotional factors present in the family environment in which the child is raised, e. This also indicates the importance of the presence of siblings in that environment, and their emotional attitude towards their new brother or sister. All children are egocentric.
This means that, for each particular child the center of the universe is that very same child, and his or her most important goal is his or her own satisfaction. Erich Fromm, the renowned psychologist, considers that this initial egocentric stage lasts at least through age eight.
This doesnt mean that children cannot pretend or imitate unselfish behaviour, which they will do to obtain their parents or caregivers approval.
And in fact, it is these early trials at unselfish behaviour that create the bases for true cooperative behaviour later in life. Every child will tend towards self-individuation. This means that each child will tend to develop capabilities that are DIFFERENT from those he or she sees in the persons around him or her, specially those of his or her siblings. In the first place, when the family is expecting a new baby, the parents should begin early to talk and to convince their older children as to how important the childrens help is going to be with the caring of their new baby brother or sister.
The parents should also discuss the childrens considerable responsibilities as older brothers or sisters. They should mention that these responsibilities will change with the babys age, and that they will continue for the rest of the siblings lives. The parents should plan to allow sufficient time between the births of each of their children so as to try to avoid having more than one child needing the same kind of care and attention at one time.
Also, as was previously mentioned, if the older child is still very young, he or she will not yet have the capacity to understand the parents explanations with respect to the efforts needed for the care of the new baby. A child that is still too young will not be able to understand and respond to the new babys arrival in a reasoned manner, but will tend to respond in a purely emotional negative way.
It should be noted that Jewish law permitted an abortion if the mother already had a child that was less than two years old. Parents should carefully observe their children, and continually explain to the older siblings the necessity that the parents have of their help with the care of the younger ones.
Parents should NEVER demonstrate a special preference for one of their children of course, they certainly can and will HAVE such a liking or preference - the damage only occurs if the childs other siblings become aware of this preference.
Giving preferential treatment to one of their children is one of the most TOXIC attitudes that parents can have with respect to their families. This attitude will actively cause the development of rivalry among their children. EVERY child has nagging suspicions that his parents love another one of his brothers or sisters more than they love him. There cannot be any good reason for parents to encourage their childrens feelings of rivalry by confirming such suspicions See also Sibling Rivalry and the Family Favorite.
Another common mistake among parents is when they tend to over-identify themselves with one or more of their children and to satisfy that childs every wish or to give that child everything that the parent didnt have as a child. This parental attitude will make it difficult for the child to grow out of his initial self-centered stage. It will also obstruct the development of his or her tendencies toward cooperative behavior.
More than 00 years ago the French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau wrote Custom writing service can write essays on Sibling Rivalry Do you know a sure way to make an unhappy child? It is to accustom that child to getting everything that he or she wants. Because, as the child grows, so will its demands.
Sooner or later the childs wishes will become larger than our capacity to satisfy them, and this unexpected denial will cause him more torment than the lack of that thing he demanded of us.
And, from that pain will come hate and loathing. Both extremes, of too little or of too much satisfaction of their wishes, are harmful to the emotional development of children.
These parents tend to feel that the only thing that their children need is LOVE. The problem is that children that receive this kind of overabundant love and attention, without sufficient moral and ethical life examples and instruction, tend not to grow out of the childish self-centered stage - they may grow up to be VERY intelligent and creative adults, but they will tend to use their talents ONLY for their OWN gratification - they may also become manipulative and abusive, simply because they have not developed the mental structures to empathize with the suffering and harm they cause on others See Readers Letters, and also Note , Abuse of Power.
Another very toxic attitude that parents have with towards their children, is showing them APPROVAL for harmful or destructive behaviors, such as a lack of respect towards the other parent, or towards any of the childs siblings or any other person. Because of the previously mentioned reasons, parents should not leave their children alone at home, with the older ones caring for the younger ones, if the oldest child is still less than twelve years old.
Parents need to plan and carry out frequent family activities with all of their children. During these, parents should try to avoid games and contests in which one of the children wins and the others lose.
They should instead look for activities and pastimes in which they ALL win if they cooperate with one another. Each childs temperament is a matter of luck.
Nature selects it at random, without asking the parents opinion. So then, some children are born with an abrasive temperament, are strong-willed, or may be easily angered or irritated. On the other hand, there are other children that are naturally sweet-tempered, mild-mannered, docile and obedient The three components of a childs temperament are usually considered to be emotional intensity, activity level, and sociability.
Parents or would-be parents have to be prepared for the fact that EACH of their children will come with his or her OWN temperament, and they have to be prepared to rear and educate each one of their children working with THAT particular childs innate temperament.
What is important for the development of that child as a true human being is not the childs temperament, but his or her character. Character is the result of the childs innate temperament plus the rearing given by his or her parents. Without asking for their consent, we brought them into this world - We need to take the time to have an active part in the shaping of their minds, to share our life experiences with them, and to become a friend to them And, no - buying them material things instead of spending time with them will not make you their friend.
Also, being their friend does NOT mean you stop being their parent or stop being the source of moral authority within the family. If we do not take this time, we definitely need to ask ourselves this question Just WHAT was our purpose in bringing them into this world?
The communitys help is specially necessary for those families that have suffered different traumas due to social or natural disasters. The community also has a definite interest in breaking the vicious cycle of ignorance that keeps these problems recurring generation after generation. One way in which communities can help with this is including the previously discussed concepts in elementary and high school study programs, within such courses as Education for Family Life, or Social Studies.
This should begin in early grades, with simple and general concepts, advancing towards detailed discussions on causes and consequences for high school students. They are more likely to beat others up if they get angry. They may also tease and say unkind things about the baby. Multiple children under one household can provide a family with everlasting happiness, yet it may also be the core to many financial and emotional disputes that slowly accumulate.
However, a problem that commonly arises between siblings is rivalry. Fairy Tales we all grew up listening to them. Children of many generations and cultures all over the world are still growing up dealing with different variations of the same fairy tales and similar stories Scholars debate the reasons for such striking similarities between stories in such a variety of cultures and try to ascertain the possible meanings behind these seemingly simple children's tales.
Using "Cinderella" as an example, this chapter expl Life without Siblings It seems as though our society has placed a negative association with being an only child. Many people consider these children to be at some sort of disadvantage. Research on this subject is mixed on this type of family situation. Therefore, I will cover a range of areas concerning families with one child and families with several children. I have learned a new term associated with being an only child.If we do not take this time, we definitely need to ask ourselves this question Just WHAT was our purpose in bringing them into this world? Sibling rivalries are a given, but there is so much that derives from the order you were born in But the fact is, not every family felt this. All children are egocentric. Recently it has been realised that siblings have an enormous impact on one another not just through early childhood but long into the lifespan. Naturally, the parental figure plays an overwhelming influence in the maturity of the child, but sibling interaction can be just as great.
Parents should NEVER demonstrate a special preference for one of their children of course, they certainly can and will HAVE such a liking or preference - the damage only occurs if the childs other siblings become aware of this preference. On the other hand, it is relatively easy to include a child that is older than three in the preparations for the arrival of the new baby. Parents that harbour such subconscious hate and fury may also express these in various forms of child abuse or neglect. Sibling Rivalry If you order your research paper from our custom writing service you will receive a perfectly written assignment on Sibling Rivalry.
In such cases the parents simply do not have the opportunity to teach their children about how to avoid the problems of sibling rivalry or to teach them many other bits and pieces of information which are useful and necessary for day-to-day life and so then, when these children grow up and in turn form their own families, they dont have the necessary knowledge to avoid the development of this rivalry among THEIR children. Throughout the play, the characters undergo subtle changes as each brother subconsciously attempts to absorb the part of the other brother's life which he feels might complete him Or, perhaps more importantly, where did they NOT learn not to abuse their power? Recently it has been realised that siblings have an enormous impact on one another not just through early childhood but long into the lifespan. I try my best to educate my kids and never have had any serious problems with them.
The human mental structure is primarily a product of the constantly changing environment in which it is evolving. When they are not connected it may seem they are independent and whole, but when examined closely it is obvious they are really relying on each other to function properly. An additional factor that greatly complicates this problem is the occurrence of family traumas or tragedies the death of one or both of the parents, or their divorce or separation , which leave only one or none of the parents in charge of raising their children. We shall probably never know. I have learned a new term associated with being an only child.
Because Bryce dared to aim for the unreachable and aspired to do great things, he set the ultimate example for me and taught me never to set a limit on myself or on my own dreams. Sibling rivalry is one of the most popular themes found in today's television shows. There are many other modifying factors. Television and Movies Research shows that exposure to violent TV and movie images increase the risk of aggressive behaviour among children. So then, some children are born with an abrasive temperament, are strong-willed, or may be easily angered or irritated.
These parents tend to feel that the only thing that their children need is LOVE. A child that is still too young will not be able to understand and respond to the new babys arrival in a reasoned manner, but will tend to respond in a purely emotional negative way. But most older brothers are not class valedictorian and star running back of the football team. Children of many generations and cultures all over the world are still growing up dealing with different variations of the same fairy tales and similar stories However, children can be surprisingly creative. Punishing the older sibling simply makes him or her develop ways to diminish, bother, and irritate the younger one that the parents wont be able to detect Some readers may believe that this is not possible.
If you intervene, try to resolve problems with your children, not for them. Nonetheless, the characters seem to have more depth, and this can be picked up when the viewer is able to read the play for themselves. Without the parents supervision, there is nothing to stop the aggressively of ones against the others, and events can quickly escalate to levels that can provoke resentments that can last a lifetime. Also, he or she will be influenced by the presence of his or her previous siblings, at their respective stages of mental and physical development. On the one hand, sibling rivalry can be beneficial for children by boosting their emotional development and reinforcing their social skills.